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The idea of the man who never grows up is sometimes romanticized on TV or in films or we finish it off by saying: that's just the way he is. Unfortunately, it is often the women who pay the price for the behavior of this man. Think carefully if you can really rely on your partner or if you feel that you have to pull the cart. On the basis of the following signals you can tell if you are dating an immature man.
And this can be anything, for example literally: tidying up his clothes, empty glasses or food packaging in your communal living space, tidying up his unpaid bills, paying the bill when you are out to dinner, for example picking out the Christmas or birthday gifts for his family. You always stand up for him and if something happens you make sure that he does not have to carry the burden on his shoulders. You ensure that you see things from his perspective instead of from your own perspective.
If you have been together for a while then it is logical that the future will be discussed. But when this happens you immediately see the panic in his eyes and his urge to flee. So next time, you say to yourself, you will approach it more subtly and bring it more casual. And that time after that you bring it up wrapped in a joke. So if you are watching a serie and something comes up about children learning to pee on a potty, then you say, "If we have children, you can teach them, haha". But when you look up you see the same panic in his eyes.
After a certain amount of time it will no longer be possible to raise this subject in a reasonable manner and there is no room for a reasonable conversation. Your dating with a man-child! And this behavior isn't nice, it's weird. You don't have to squeeze yourself in all sorts of turns to discuss something! Because talking about the future does not mean that it will happen that way or that you are already certain that it will happen that way. They are just conversations. And you are worthy to have these conversations with your partner so that you can find out if he wants the same things as you do.
When you stop nagging and try to find a deeper cause, he jokes, changes the subject or immediately turns things around and tells you what you are doing in your relationship. Because the last thing an immature man wants is a confrontation. And he will do everything to prevent this. When you try to bring something serious to his attention, he will try to get out of this conversation and often point to you. Do you also have the feeling that your finger is never put in the sore spot and that you do get to hear what you have done wrong and what caused his behavior? Then this could be the cause.
When he goes out and spends time with friends, he acts like an adolescent. He finds it hard to know limits regarding alcohol and drugs and often has a kind of humor that you still know from high school. He gives you the feeling that you are the whiner in his company. Often you unconsciously take on the role of "mother" because you get the feeling that you are the only one who can keep an eye on him. In addition, you get the feeling that you have to entertain yourself a little more often than you would like.
When you feel that you are in love with an immature man, take a step back and think carefully about why you are motivated to make this a success. You may be afraid of letting go of control, afraid that you are not good enough or afraid of having to start a relationship again. Stop working on your immature man and start working on yourself! Because you are definitely worth this investment.